Kare woke up very agitated when it was still very dark. His heart was beating like mad and he was sweating. He must have had a very intense nightmare, but he did not remember anything. He struggled to try to remember, but could not recall any images, just some feelings in a vague and confusing way. At first he did not want to look at what time it was, trying not move too much, and see if he was able to fall asleep again, but he was too excited and failed in the attempt. He got up and went to the bathroom to see if, by washing his face to cool off and remove the sweat, he could relax. However, he could not fall back asleep. It was annoying to be so upset but not knowing the details of the dream that had caused him such agitation. After a long time he gave up and tried to analyze what feelings were behind the nightmare. He recalled mixed feelings of being subjected to pressures that were almost impossible to avoid, rejection of forces that obliged him to do something he did not want and the unpleasant consequences that could arise from his actions if he gave in to those pressures. However, not everything he felt was negative. He also knew that, mixed with a dark whirlwind, there was something beautiful that, at that moment, inspired a feeling of... infatuation.
Love? He wondered puzzled. After the bitter experience he had suffered with his recent divorce, it seemed very strange that the subconscious suggested anything related to falling in love again. But he told himself that the subconscious was very difficult to control and that probably that dream, and in particular that feeling, did not have to have any kind of logic.
Thinking that he would not go back to sleep, he turned off the alarm clock, the sound of which unnerved him every morning, so that he could avoid discomfort when it was time to get up. And the inevitable happened in these cases: he fell asleep and did not wake up in time. When he did, he was startled, realizing he would be late for work. He had to wash himself in a hurry and left without stopping to have breakfast at home, as was his custom. He was almost an hour late, which would make him have to stay later to make up for lost time, which irritated him a lot because in recent times, since his divorce, he had settled into a routine that bothered him to alter. When he arrived at the company, he saw that in the corridor there was a huddle of colleagues who were whispering with nervous giggles. He did not give it too much importance and sat at his desk.
A few minutes later Tarlo, his officemate, approached.
“Have you overslept?” Said with a mocked stern gesture. “This will have to be recovered, or it will be deducted from your salary...”
“You imitate Hoka very badly” Kare replied. “Besides, I'm sure he hasn't even arrived yet and, when he finds out, I'll have recovered my time.”
“You're wrong, he's out there. Today he has come soon; I'm sure he knew something...”
“Something about what?”
“I see you haven't heard about the last one.”
“You got me on edge.” Kare said wryly.
“The new hiring of the research department. You have to see her.”, Tarlo sighed.
“What is so special about her?”
“A cutie. I never saw anything like her. She's got all the guys drooling.”
“I understand, that's why it was the conclave you had before?”
“Indeed! But not only does she look like a pretty face and a hot body, she also has a character... More than one has already been put in place.”
“It is precisely what suits some who are out there.”
Kare continued with his work thinking that the new colleague would not be so big deal. Tarlo's tendency to exaggerate was well known. In addition, in his current situation, he was not too interested in affairs with women and less with coworkers.
After a while he had almost forgotten about it, concentrating on the project he was working on. In those moments he used to become isolated from the world in such a way that he did not realize what was around him; so much so that many times they had to get him out of self-absorption in quite forceful ways.
Some time later, he was forced to return to the real world when he heard the voice of Hoka Kuher, his boss, directly rebuking him.
“Look at him, in his world, as always... By the way, have you overslept? This will have to be recovered, or it will be deducted from your salary...”
At the next desk, Tarlo almost choked on the glass of water he was drinking. Kare looked up at his boss and someone else accompanying him, but could not reply. He was absolutely dumbfounded by the presence of a woman of a beauty like he had never seen before. For once Tarlo had not exaggerated at all.
“I introduce you to Kanja Alfke, a new colleague in our section. I'm showing her all this. Kanja, I introduce you to these two calamities: there, Tarlo Lodke, the schemer, and this is Kare Osjin, the self-absorbed.”
“Pleased to meet you.” Kanja said, looking first at Tarlo and then, stopping her gaze on Kare, offered him a smile that took his breath away. The beauty of her gaze left him petrified.
“The pleasure is all ours.” replied Tarlo. “Right, Kare?” he added, seeing that Kare did not react.
But Kare was still unable to say anything.
“Right?” Tarlo repeated.
“Yeah, uh, sure.” Kare babbled at last.
“Leave them. These two have no remedy.” said the boss. “Now I'll show you the rest of the department.”
They left the room and, before crossing the door, Kanja managed to turn to look at Kare even though the boss had given way to her as they passed through the door, and gave him the same paralyzing smile again.
“Pheeew!” Tarlo said when they could no longer be heard. “What a glances she has given you, buddy. I’d say you have her wrapped around your finger. What a lucky devil!”
Kare was still mesmerized. He was not able to get out of the spell. He kept seeing her even though she was no longer there.
“What's wrong with you?” Tarlo continued. “You have been as a fool! If one of those smiles had been thrown at me, I would have done anything but keep quiet.”
“You can't keep quiet even if your life depends on it.” Kare grumbled.
“Yes, yes, but what do you say? Was she, or wasn't she a babe?”
“Well, not bad. Nor it’s big deal.” Kare lied.
“Ha ha ha! The one who has been speechless says it!: 'Yeah, uh, sure'” he said, mocking Kare.
“Leave me alone, I'm not in the mood for your bullshit!”
“Come on, dude! You have to rebuild your life. You have to get over the divorce once and for all. And an opportunity like this is not going to happen to you again in your fucking life.”
“There’s no such opportunity. She was just nice and she smiled at us both, as new colleagues. Don't start imagining things where there aren't.”
“Guy! If you let this escape you, I will never speak to you again.”
“You promise?” Kare replied sarcastically.
In the following hours Kare was unable to concentrate. He could not stop thinking about Kanja. How could it have affected him so much? He believed that at that moment he could not get carried away so easily by a physical feeling, when it had only been since the divorce ... How long? Six months already? It was not possible! Anyway, he did not think he had to get carried away by such a thing without even knowing her. Besides ... a woman of that beauty had to necessarily be with someone or, if not, she could choose anyone more attractive than him. He was sure that admirers would not be lacking.
When it was time for a break, Tarlo told him:
“I know you never go out for breakfast, but just in case, for a change...”
“Huh, no.” Kare said without thinking, but then he reconsidered “Wait, yeah, I'm going with you.”
“What a surprise! Is something wrong with you?” and he added tongue-in-cheek “Today I see you changed, different... why is it?”
“It's okay, asshole! It's that this morning I haven’t had time to have breakfast at home. But if it bothers you, you know ...”
“Nah! I'm glad you're coming; it's just that I'm not used to you listening to me. Besides, today I had no one to go with. The rest of the guys stood me up.”
“Glad to hear it. The fewer buffoons the better. Let’s go!”
As they got close to the exit, they came face to face with Kanja. She approached them and asked:
“Are you going out? Can I join you, please? It's just that I don't know anywhere around here and, besides, now that I've finally managed to give Hoka the slip and I can get rid of him for a while… I was worried I was going to have to go out with him.”
Immediately Tarlo took the floor:
“We are delighted that you are coming with us!” and, looking at Kare's stunned face, “At least me, because this one is scatterbrained today.”
“Yeah, uh, sure…” Kare babbled.
Kanja could not suppress a laugh.
“If you wait for me, I'm with you in a minute.”
Tarlo stared seriously at Kare and shook his head:
“What?” Kare said.
“Yeah, uh, sure…”he scoffed. “Do you think you'll go very far behaving that way? That beauty is going to believe that you are a dumbass. Of course, even in your best moments you're not very savvy.”
“Will you please leave me alone?”
“No, I don't want to! Actually, I don't care what she thinks of you. Maybe that way, by contrast, she looks more at me.”
“Shut up, here she comes.”
During the break, they talked a bit about where each one came from. It looked more like an interrogation from Tarlo to Kanja, but she seemed amused with the situation. Kare just listened dumbfounded and almost without participating. But, when they had been in this type of talk for a while, the conversation led to the hobbies of each one and there Tarlo could not help but realize that Kare was still in a cloud.
“Don't let this geek tell you about his hobbies,” he said to Kanja with a hint of malice, “if you give him a chance, he can make your head explode.”
“What kind of geek are you, Kare?” She inquired, looking directly at him. “What kind of power do you have to go around blowing up heads?”
But, before he had time to answer, Tarlo said:
“Perfect, I tell her not to venture into the lion's den and she goes headfirst...”
“Shut your trap!” Kare said a little annoyed. “Kanja, don't listen to this prick.”
“No, no, really.” Kanja replied. “I would like to know what's true of what Tarlo says. I confess that I'm also quite a geek and I'd like to know if we share the same type of interests...”
“Nothing serious really.” Kare replied on the defensive. “Don´t think that I'm going around disguising myself as an alien, or as a commander of the Space Forces, or something like that. It's just that I like science fiction and studying real science that can make viable, or not, the ideas found in some stories.”
“Amazing!” said Kanja with her eyes wide open.
“I can't believe it,” Tarlo muttered. “I not only have to put up with one geek, but two...”
“Stop complaining and let's get back to work, it's about time!” Kare said grumpily. “I don't feel like staying longer than I have to make up for today.”
Kare felt somewhat more relaxed and managed to regain the usual attention he used to focus on his work. He wondered if he could meet Kanja again at lunchtime, and told himself that in that case, he had to try to be a little savvier, even if it bothered him to have to admit that Tarlo was right. But, once again, things did not go as he expected. When they were going out for lunch, they saw that Hoka had learned and managed to keep Kanja and they would not be able to have lunch with her. Somehow, Kare felt a bit disappointed and during the meal he was somewhat deflated, although it was not too noticeable because, as usual, Tarlo monopolized most of the conversation, including the expected hints that he dropped on him on several occasions.
“Have you noticed her hair?” Asked Tarlo in one of his quasi-monologues. “Red like fire. Impressive! Do you think that color is natural, or dyed?”
“I'd bet it's dyed.” replied Kare, who was a bit more upbeat at the time.
“Well, look, I think it's natural, and I accept your stake. Do we bet twenty?”
“It was just a way of speaking. It would be piece of cake winning, but I'm not betting. It would be an abuse on my part, like taking candy from a baby. And besides, you know that I'm against gambling. “
“Yay! You always say that because you're afraid of losing. And now, you're sure to lose.”
“I don't think so. Natural redheads are usually very freckled, and Kanja has no freckles. And besides, how can we know if it's natural or dyed? If you ask her, she probably won't tell you the truth.”
“My friend, there is a fairly reliable way. If the floor below has it the same color, it is natural, if not, dyed...”
“Or she is very careful and also dyes it.”
“Naaah! They don't matter so much about it. Once they show it to you, they don't care if you know it isn't natural; they already got you.”
“You’re hopeless.” Kare said laughing.
“Another one who drives me crazy is Verke.” Tarlo continued.
“What Verke?”
“Are you kidding me? Verke Melin, the blonde from human resources, Silma Tend's assistant. Don't tell me you haven't noticed her infinite legs.”
“Oh yeah! Well, not too bad...”
“You must be joking! If I wasn't married with two children, I would eat her...”
“That one! I'm sure she's dyed.” Kare assured.
“No way! I bet you fifty that she isn’t! What's more, I'll bet you fifty on Kanja's red and another fifty on Verke's blonde. And this time you're not going to sneak away. Put the money right now.”
Kare shook his head, but realized that Tarlo would not stop, so he took out the money and put it on the table.
“Okay, you asked for it. A hundred that you are going to lose. You’re so gullible! Believing that all hot girls have natural hair color...”
“No, not all of them. But these two, yes.”
Back at work, Kare locked himself in by concentrating on work more intensively than usual, which was difficult to achieve. He did not even realize the moment when Tarlo was leaving and, in fact, he did two hours more than he had to make up. When he finally came out of his self-absorption, he was a little annoyed that he had lost control of time and headed for the exit, assuming there would be no one left in the office. But he was wrong again. As he passed in front of the door where Kanja worked, he saw that the lights were still on. He glanced as he passed, surprised to see her picking up as well to go out.
“Still here?” Kare asked. “Your first day here and you're going out so late? Won't you be a workaholic?” he joked, although he almost regretted the comment, because he still did not have that much confidence and did not know how she would take it.
“I wanted to find out as quickly as possible what I have to do and I wanted to get everything well organized to start giving a good performance soon.”
“Take it easy.” Kare suggested. “It would be a bad deal if you push it too much and pay for the effort. In addition, as they get used to a high performance from the beginning, then they will always demand it.”
“Don't worry, it's just that I wanted to catch up soon. I promise you I'm not going to turn into a zombie.” she said, smiling. “By the way, what about you? Let's see if you're going to reproach me for leaving late and you go out at the same time.”
“I had to make up time because this morning I was late and also I lost my train of thought.”
“From how little I know you, your train must be very fast, because you miss it very often, right?”
“Well, maybe, a little bit.” Kare blushed.
“Are you in a hurry? Or can you come with me somewhere and have a chat?”
Kare was puzzled.
“Errr, I...”
“Well, if you don't feel like it, it doesn't matter.” Kanja smiled.
“No, no, no!” He rectified in time. “I'll be happy to spend some time with you.”
“So let's go!” She said, holding on to his arm.
Kare was feeling as if he were floating on air. He could not believe what was happening to him and he feared it was just a dream and that he might wake up at any moment. But no, he was aware that everything was real. Although he reflected that when someone is dreaming, it is also believed that what happens is real. 'Never mind,' he told himself 'try to enjoy it as long as possible, and then we'll see.'
They went to a coffee shop near work and chatted for quite a while. Kare found it wonderful; he was so comfortable with her, and she also seemed to be at ease with him. But he, perhaps, had hoped that the conversation had consisted of an exchange of information about the lives of each of them, to get to know each other better. However, she immediately led him to his fondness for science fiction and, very particularly, to the possibility of time travel. Kare was surprised that she brought up that particular issue, because it was precisely the subject he had spent the most time on within his hobby. Perhaps because of this, he began little by little to encourage until, suddenly, he was afraid to do what Tarlo had said in the morning: to let himself be carried away by his enthusiasm and to make her bored with so much detail and consider him tiresome. He fell silent suddenly and stared at her. She was surprised at the abrupt halt and raised her eyebrows questioningly.
“Why have you stopped?”
“I don't want to bore you with my silly stuff.”
“Silly stuff? I do love it! I've never found anyone who is as passionate about these topics as you are! “
“Maybe they aren't really interesting.”
“Others may not be interested, but I'd like to continue hearing you talk about it. It can be told it's a subject you master.”
“If only!” Kare regreted. “I'm just a poor amateur with weird tastes.”
“No way! Come on! Tell me where you learned all this.”
“Well, there aren't many places where you can get good information. Yes, on the one hand are the theoretical physicists, but they are too academic and usually end up in a stalemate. In addition, there are some issues that are viewed with disfavor in the scientific community and, those who study the subject somewhat, are reluctant to publish their findings, for fear of rejection by others.”
Kare paused, wondering if he should go on, but she noticed it right away.
“Yes, on the one hand they are… But, on the other?”
It was very surprising, he thought, how quick Kanja was to detect the nuances of what he had in mind. Was he so transparent in his pauses, or in the way he spoke? He decided to continue.
“Well, there was also a group of enthusiasts of these topics, like me, who took part in a forum on the Internet a long time ago, where they talked extensively about the subject and developed some serious theories, and even developed certain quite complex mathematical tools with which you could reach very interesting results.”
“You're speaking in the past tense. Doesn't that group exist anymore?”
“I really don’t know. There was a strange incident, the forum was closed and I lost touch. I don't know if, somehow, the rest went ahead or not. I, of course, lost track.”
“What incident was that?”
“It was kind of strange…” Kare tried to collect his thoughts. “Lashkii, the guy who had gone the furthest in the mathematical development of the subject, began to behave strangely. He disappeared without warning for long periods and after, he began to try to undo all the work that had cost him so much effort. I don't know, but I get the impression that something, or someone, made him go into a paranoid state and wanted the rest of us to forget about it forever as well.”
“What could have led him to that situation?”
“I don't know. What I do know is that one day he disappeared forever and the rest also left little by little, until, without prior notice, the forum was closed and those of us who had access weren't allowed to enter anymore.”
“Did you keep in touch with anyone afterwards?”
“No.” Kare paused. He did not know if he should continue.
“But...” Kanja did not seem convinced.
“But nothing! I didn't hear from anyone of them, or from anyone else.” he lied.
“I can't quite believe it.”
“Believe whatever you want. Things are as they are. Besides,” he tried to get off topic “it's too late and I have to go home...”
“Yeah, sorry. I don't want you to bother if you don't want to talk anymore. It's just that I find it so interesting, that I wanted to know the details.”
“How weird you are!” Kare said smiling.
When he got home and was able to reflect alone on everything that had happened on that strange and wonderful day, Kare felt his head spin. There were many things that he had to assimilate, such as that, having to get over such an unpleasant personal situation as his divorce had been, he had found an extraordinary woman in every way that could connect with him. She was beautiful, very beautiful, but she did not have the defects that some of those people who, knowing themselves attractive, behaved superficially, or despised people who did not meet extraordinary characteristics.
She was smart, kind, amusing and interested in the oddities he had, a thing he had never experienced before. As a matter of fact, Neila, his ex-wife did not like his hobbies at all, considering them 'super-freaky', and ridiculing him even in public. Kanja was instead, he could not define her otherwise, just perfect… Too perfect to be real. Kare had a momentary dizzy feeling. Something was not quite right for him. Those things did not happen in real life, at least not to a guy like him. He shook his head to get rid of those sensations; he did not have to be so suspicious. For one bloody time he had stumbled upon something perfect, he could not turn him down for being too good. It would be such extreme stupidity, that even he could not afford it. But he didn't have to get excited so soon, either. He only knew her for a day; he did not know if there could be something she was not so wonderful about, or that she really felt nothing but mere curiosity about him.
Prodded by Kanja's interest in time travel, he sought out those old calculations and the correspondence he had maintained with that group of crazy people interested in such an unusual subject. He had not looked at them in months. To tell the truth he had not been in the mood for hobbies, to some extent, childish. He went over the math they had been developing, especially Lashkii, and he noticed himself somewhat rusty. It had been so long since he had put so much strain on his mathematical abilities that it even seemed impossible that he had ever been able to understand anything. He remembered that, at first, when the first equations of what were called the Lashkii tensors were sent privately, he did not know how to deal with them. Then, after many consultations to advanced mathematics books and documentation that were passed within the group, he gradually acquired knowledge, basic at first, and then, after much effort, he begun to understand a lot about the subject, even making modest contributions to the development of theory, especially topics regarding the relationship between pure mathematics, so complicated, and the physics related to them. He smiled, reviewing those points where, at occasional moments, they had found themselves in apparent dead ends and in the end they had managed to get out thanks to the contributions of different great ideas of some of the members of the forum. But he got more serious when he remembered that, at Lashkii's own suggestion, the basic tensors should not be posted within the forum, but were sent to group members via encrypted emails so that no one outside the group could access them. Kare never understood it, but he always fulfilled all the security they asked of him, out of respect for his fellow sufferers. He did not understand it, until what happened happened.