Capítulo 1Chapter 1
Kare se despertó muy agitado cuando todavía estaba muy oscuro. Tenía el corazón desbocado y estaba sudando. Debía haber tenido una pesadilla muy intensa, pero no se acordaba de nada. Se esforzó por intentar recordar, pero no pudo evocar ninguna imagen, solo algunos sentimientos de manera vaga y confusa. Al principio no quiso mirar qué hora era para no moverse mucho y ver si era capaz de volver a conciliar el sueño, pero estaba demasiado excitado y fracasó en el intento. Se levantó y fue al baño para ver si lavándose, para refrescarse y eliminar el sudor, podía relajarse de nuevo. Sin embargo, no pudo volver a dormirse. Le irritaba estar tan alterado pero sin conocer los detalles del sueño que le había provocado tal agitación. Tras un buen rato, desistió e intentó analizar qué sentimientos quedaban detrás de la pesadilla. Recordó mezcladas sensaciones de verse sometido a presiones que eran casi imposibles de eludir, rechazo ante unas fuerzas que lo obligaban a hacer algo que no deseaba y las consecuencias desagradables que podían derivarse de sus actos si cedía a esas presiones. Sin embargo, no todo lo que sintió era negativo. También sabía que, mezclado con un torbellino oscuro, había algo bello que, en ese momento, le inspiraba un sentimiento de… enamoramiento. ¿Amor?, se preguntó extrañado. Tras la amarga experiencia que había sufrido con su reciente divorcio le parecía muy raro que el subconsciente le sugiriera nada relacionado con volver a enamorarse. Pero se dijo a sí mismo que el subconsciente era muy difícil de controlar y que probablemente ese sueño, y en particular esa sensación, no tenía por qué tener ningún tipo de lógica.
Pensando que no se volvería a dormir, desconectó el despertador, cuyo sonido lo crispaba todas las mañanas, y así podría evitar la molestia cuando llegara la hora de levantarse. Y sucedió lo inevitable en esos casos: se quedó dormido y no despertó a tiempo. Cuando lo hizo se sobresaltó, dándose cuenta de que llegaría tarde a trabajar. Tuvo que asearse a toda prisa y se marchó sin pararse a desayunar en casa, como era su costumbre. Llegó casi una hora tarde, lo que lo haría tener que quedarse luego a recuperar el tiempo perdido, cosa que lo irritó bastante porque en los últimos tiempos, desde su divorcio, se había instalado en una rutina que le fastidiaba alterar. Al llegar a la empresa, vio que en el pasillo había un corrillo de compañeros que estaban cuchicheando con risitas nerviosas. No le dio demasiada importancia y se sentó en su mesa. A los pocos minutos se acercó Tarlo, su compañero de despacho.
–¿Se te han pegado las sábanas? –dijo con gesto fingidamente severo–. Esto tendrás que recuperarlo, o se te descontará del sueldo…
–Imitas muy mal a Hoka –respondió Kare–. Además, seguro que todavía ni ha llegado y, cuando se quiera enterar, ya habré recuperado el tiempo.
–Te equivocas, está por ahí. Hoy le ha dado por venir pronto; seguro que sabía algo…
–¿Algo de qué?
–Ya veo que no te has enterado de la última.
–Me tienes en ascuas –dijo Kare irónicamente.
–El nuevo fichaje del departamento de investigación. Tienes que verla –suspiró Tarlo.
–¿Qué tiene de particular?
–Un bombón. Nunca vi nada parecido. Tiene a todos los tíos babeando.
–Ya entiendo, ¿por eso era el cónclave que teníais antes?
–¡Ya te digo! Pero no solo parece una cara bonita y un cuerpazo de infarto, además tiene un carácter… A más de uno ya lo ha puesto en su sitio.
–Precisamente es lo que les viene bien a algunos que andan por ahí.
Kare continuó con su trabajo, pensando que la nueva compañera no sería para tanto. La tendencia a exagerar de Tarlo era conocida. Además, en su situación actual, no estaba demasiado interesado en líos con mujeres y menos con compañeras de trabajo. Al rato casi se había olvidado del asunto, concentrándose en el proyecto en el que estaba trabajando. En esos momentos llegaba a aislarse del mundo de tal manera, que no se daba cuenta de lo que lo rodeaba; tanto, que muchas veces lo tenían que sacar del ensimismamiento de formas bastante contundentes.
Pasado un rato, se vio obligado a volver al mundo real al oír la voz de Hoka Kuher, su jefe, increpándolo directamente.
–Míralo, en su mundo, como siempre… Por cierto, ¿Se te han pegado las sábanas? Esto tendrás que recuperarlo o se te descontará del sueldo…
–Os presento a Kanja Alfke, una compañera nueva en nuestra sección. Le estoy enseñando todo esto. Kanja, te presento a estas dos calamidades: ahí, Tarlo Lodke, el intrigante, y éste es Kare Osjin, el ensimismado.
–Un placer –dijo Kanja mirando primero a Tarlo y, luego, parando su mirada en Kare, le ofreció una sonrisa que le quitó el aliento. La belleza de su mirada lo dejó petrificado.
–El placer es nuestro… –respondió Tarlo–. ¿Verdad, Kare? –añadió, viendo que éste no reaccionaba.
Pero Kare siguió incapaz de decir nada.
–¿Verdad? –repitió Tarlo.
–Si, estooo, claro –balbuceó Kare por fin.
–Déjalos. Estos dos elementos no tienen remedio –atajó el jefe–. Ahora te enseñaré el resto del departamento.
Salieron del cuarto y, antes de cruzar la puerta, Kanja se las ingenió para volverse a mirar a Kare a pesar de que el jefe le había cedido el paso al pasar por la puerta, y le volvió a dedicar la misma sonrisa paralizante.
–¡Fiuuu! –dijo Tarlo cuando ya no podían oírlos–. Vaya miraditas que te ha echado, amiguete. Yo diría que la tienes en el bote. ¡Qué jodío tío con suerte!
Kare seguía hipnotizado. No era capaz de salir del embrujo. Seguía viéndola aunque ya no estuviera allí.
–Y a ti, ¿qué te pasa? –siguió Tarlo–. ¡Te has quedado como un pasmarote! Si me hubiesen echado a mí una de esas sonrisas, habría hecho cualquier cosa menos quedarme callado.
–Tú no puedes quedarte callado ni aunque te vaya la vida en ello –refunfuñó Kare.
–Sí, sí, pero, ¿qué me dices? ¿Era, o no era un pibón?
–Bueno, no está mal. Tampoco es para tanto –mintió Kare.
–¡Ja, ja, ja! ¡Lo dice el que se ha quedado sin habla!: “Si, estooo, claro” –dijo burlándose de Kare.
–¡Déjame, no estoy de humor para tus chorradas!
–¡Vamos, tío! Tienes que rehacer tu vida. Tienes que superar de una vez el divorcio. Y una oportunidad como ésta no se te va a presentar otra vez en tu puta vida.
–No hay ninguna oportunidad. Ella solo fue amable y nos sonrió a los dos, como compañeros nuevos. No empieces a imaginar cosas donde no las hay.
–¡Tío! Como dejes que esto se te escape no voy a volver a dirigirte nunca más la palabra.
–¿Me lo juras? –respondió sarcásticamente Kare.
En las horas siguientes Kare no fue capaz de concentrarse. No podía dejar de pensar en Kanja. ¿Cómo era posible que le hubiera afectado tanto? Creía que en ese momento no podía dejarse llevar tan fácilmente por un sentimiento físico, cuando sólo habían pasado desde el divorcio… ¿Cuánto? ¿Seis meses ya? ¡No era posible! De todas formas, no creía que tuviera que dejarse arrastrar por una cosa así sin siquiera conocerla. Además… una mujer de esa belleza tenia necesariamente que estar con alguien o, si no, podría elegir a cualquiera más atractivo que él. Estaba seguro de que pretendientes no le faltarían.
Cuando llegó la hora del descanso le dijo Tarlo:
Cuando llegó la hora del descanso le dijo Tarlo:
–Ya sé que nunca sales a desayunar, pero por si acaso, para variar…
–¿Eh?, no –dijo Kare sin pensar, pero luego recapacitó–. Espera, sí, voy contigo.
–¡Qué sorpresa! ¿Te pasa algo? –y añadió mordaz–. Hoy te veo cambiado, distinto… ¿por qué será?
–¡No pasa nada, capullo! Es que esta mañana no he tenido tiempo de desayunar en casa. Pero si te molesta, ya sabes…
–¡Nooo! Si me alegra que vengas; es solo que no estoy acostumbrado a que me hagas caso. Además, hoy no tenía nadie con quien ir. El resto me han fallado hoy.
–Me alegro. Cuantos menos bufones, mejor. ¡Anda, tira!
–¿Vais a salir? ¿Puedo acompañaros, porfa? Es que no conozco nada por aquí y, además, ahora que por fin he conseguido dar esquinazo a Hoka y me puedo librar un rato de él… Ya me temía que iba a tener que salir con él.
–¡Estamos encantados de que vengas con nosotros! –y mirando la cara de pasmado de Kare–. Por lo menos yo, porque éste hoy está empanado.
–¿Eh? Sí, claro –balbuceó Kare.
–Si me esperáis un minuto, ahora estoy con vosotros.
–¿Qué? –dijo Kare.
–“¿Eh? Sí, claro” –se burló–. ¿Crees que llegarás muy lejos con esa forma de actuar? Esa belleza se va a creer que eres un cretino. Claro que, tampoco en tus mejores momentos eres muy espabilado.
–¿Quieres hacer el favor de dejarme en paz?
–¡No, no quiero! En realidad, me importa muy poco lo que pueda pensar de ti. A lo mejor así, por contraste, se fija más en mí.
–Anda, cállate, que ahí viene.
En el rato de descanso hablaron un poco de la procedencia de cada uno. Bueno, más bien parecía un interrogatorio de Tarlo a Kanja, pero ella pareció divertida con la situación. Kare se limitó a escuchar embobado y casi sin meter baza. Pero, cuando llevaban un rato en este tipo de charla, la conversación derivó a las aficiones de cada uno y ahí Tarlo no pudo evitar darse cuenta de que Kare seguía en una nube.
–No dejes que este friki te hable de sus aficiones –le dijo a Kanja con un toque de malicia–, si le das cancha, puede hacer que te explote la cabeza.
–¿Qué clase de friki eres, Kare? –inquirió ella mirándolo directamente–. ¿Qué tipo de poder tienes para ir por ahí haciendo explotar las cabezas?
–Perfecto, le digo que no se meta en la boca del lobo y ella va de cabeza…
–Cierra un poco el pico, anda –dijo Kare un poco molesto–. No hagas caso a este cretino.
–No, no, en serio –replicó Kanja–. Me gustaría saber qué hay de cierto de lo que dice Tarlo. Os confieso que yo también soy bastante friki y me gustaría saber si compartimos el mismo tipo de gustos en ese sentido…
–Nada serio en realidad –respondió Kare, un poco a la defensiva–. Tampoco te vayas a creer que voy por ahí disfrazándome de extraterrestre, o de comandante de las Fuerzas Espaciales, o algo por el estilo. Es solo que me gusta la ciencia-ficción y estudiar la ciencia real que pueda hacer viables, o no, las ideas que se encuentran en algunos relatos.
–¡Fascinante! –dijo Kanja abriendo mucho sus hermosos ojos.
–No me lo puedo creer –murmuró Tarlo por lo bajo–. Ya no solo tengo que aguantar a un friki, sino dos…
–Deja de quejarte y volvamos al trabajo, que ya es la hora –dijo Kare de mal humor–. Y no tengo ganas de quedarme más rato del que ya tengo que recuperar hoy.
Kare se sintió algo más relajado y consiguió recuperar la atención habitual que solía poner en su trabajo. Se preguntaba si podría volver a coincidir con Kanja a la hora de comer, y se dijo que, en el caso de que así fuera, tenía que intentar estar algo más espabilado, aunque le fastidiase tener que darle la razón a Tarlo. Pero, una vez más, las cosas no transcurrieron como él esperaba. Cuando iban a salir a comer, vieron que Hoka había aprendido y se las había apañado para retener a Kanja y no podrían comer con ella. En cierto modo, Kare se sintió un poco estafado y durante la comida estuvo algo apático, aunque tampoco se notó demasiado porque, como de costumbre, Tarlo acaparó la mayor parte de la conversación, incluyendo las esperadas pullas que le metía a Kare en varias ocasiones.
–¿Te has fijado en su pelo? – preguntó Tarlo en uno de sus casi monólogos–. Rojo como el fuego. ¡Impresionante! ¿Crees que ese color será natural, o teñido?
–Yo apostaría a que es teñido –respondió Kare, que en ese momento estaba algo más animado.
–Pues, mira, yo creo que es natural, y acepto tu apuesta. ¿Van veinte?
–Era solo una forma de hablar. Podría ganártelos con la gorra, pero no voy a apostar. Sería un abuso por mi parte; como quitarle un caramelo a un niño. Y además, ya sabes que estoy en contra de las apuestas.
–¡Ya! Dices eso siempre porque tienes miedo de perder. Y ahora, seguro que pierdes.
–No lo creo. Las pelirrojas naturales suelen ser muy pecosas, y Kanja no tiene pecas. Y además, ¿cómo podemos saber si es natural o teñido? Si se lo preguntas, es probable que no te diga la verdad.
–Amigo mío, hay una forma bastante fiable. Si el piso de abajo lo tiene del mismo color, es natural, si no, teñido…
–O es muy cuidadosa y también lo tiñe.
–Nooo, no se preocupan tanto por eso. Una vez que te lo enseñan, ya les da igual que sepas que no es natural; ya te tienen cogido.
–No tienes remedio –sentenció Kare riendo.
–Otra que me tiene loco es Verke –siguió Tarlo.
–¿Qué Verke?
–¿Estás de broma? Verke Melin, la rubia de Recursos Humanos, la ayudante de Silma Tend. No me digas que no te has fijado en sus piernas infinitas.
–¡Ah, sí! Bueno, es resultona…
–¡Qué dices! Si no estuviera casado y con dos hijos, me la comería…
–Esa, sí que estoy seguro que es teñida –aseguró Kare.
–¡Ni hablar! Ahí sí que te apuesto cincuenta a que no. Es más, te apuesto cincuenta por el rojo de Kanja y otros cincuenta por el rubio de Verke. Y esta vez no te vas a escabullir. Pon la pasta ahora mismo.
Kare movió negativamente la cabeza, pero se dio cuenta de que Tarlo no pararía hasta que le hiciera caso. Así que sacó el dinero y lo puso sobre la mesa.
–Vale, tú lo has querido. Cien que vas a perder. ¡Mira que eres inocente! Creer que todas las tías buenas tienen color de pelo natural…
–No, todas no. Pero estas dos, sí.
De vuelta al trabajo, Kare se encerró en sí mismo concentrándose en el trabajo de una manera más intensa de lo habitual, cosa que ya era difícil de conseguir. Incluso ni se dio cuenta del momento en el que se marchaba Tarlo y, de hecho, hizo dos horas más que las que le tocaba recuperar. Cuando por fin salió de su ensimismamiento, se quedó un poco extrañado del silencio que había alrededor. Miró el reloj y se sobresaltó. “¡Mierda! ¿Qué hago aquí a estas horas?” Recogió sus cosas, molesto por haber perdido el control del tiempo y se dirigió a la salida, suponiendo que ya no quedaría nadie en la oficina. Pero se volvía a equivocar. Al pasar frente a la puerta donde trabajaba Kanja, vio que la luz seguía encendida. Miró de pasada, sorprendiéndose al verla recogiendo también para salir.
–¿Todavía aquí? –preguntó Kare–. ¿Tu primer día aquí y ya estás saliendo tan tarde? ¿No serás trabajólica? –bromeó, aunque casi se arrepintió del comentario, porque todavía no tenía tanta confianza y no sabía cómo se lo tomaría ella.
–No, es que quería enterarme lo más rápido posible de lo que tengo que hacer y quería dejarlo todo bien organizado para comenzar a dar pronto un buen rendimiento.
–Tómatelo con calma –sugirió Kare–. Sería un mal negocio que forzaras demasiado la máquina y pagases el esfuerzo. Además, como se acostumbren de entrada a un rendimiento elevado, luego te lo van a exigir siempre.
–Tranquilo, es solo que quería ponerme al día pronto. Te prometo que no me voy a convertir en un zombi –dijo sonriendo–. Por cierto, ¿y tú, qué? A ver si me vas a reprochar que salgo tarde y tú sales a la misma hora.
–No, es que tenía que recuperar tiempo porque esta mañana llegué tarde y además se me fue el santo al cielo.
–Por lo poco que te conozco, tu santo debe ser muy santo, porque viaja al cielo con mucha frecuencia, ¿no?
–Bueno, tal vez, un poco –Kare se sonrojó.
–¿Tienes prisa? ¿O puedes venir conmigo a algún sitio y charlar un rato?
–Estooo, yooo…
–Bueno, si no te apetece, no importa –sonrió Kanja.
–¡No, no, no! –consiguió rectificar a tiempo–. Estaré encantado de pasar un rato contigo.
–¡Pues vamos! –dijo ella agarrándose de su brazo.
Kare estaba flotando. No se podía creer lo que le estaba ocurriendo y se temía que solo fuese un sueño y que pudiera despertarse en cualquier momento. Pero no, se daba cuenta que todo era real. Aunque reflexionó que cuando uno está soñando también se cree que aquello que ocurre es real. “No importa”, se dijo, “intenta disfrutarlo mientras sea posible, y luego ya veremos”.
Fueron a una cafetería cerca del trabajo y charlaron durante un buen rato. A Kare le pareció maravilloso; estaba tan a gusto con ella, y ella también parecía estar a gusto con él. Pero él, tal vez, había esperado que la conversación hubiese consistido en un intercambio de información sobre la vida de cada uno de ellos, para conocerse mejor. Sin embargo, ella lo llevó enseguida a su afición por la ciencia ficción y, muy particularmente, a la posibilidad de viajar en el tiempo. A Kare le sorprendió que ella sacara ese asunto en concreto, porque era precisamente el tema al que había dedicado más tiempo dentro de su afición. Tal vez por ello, empezó poco a poco a venirse arriba hasta que, de pronto, le dio miedo de hacer lo que había dicho Tarlo por la mañana: dejarse llevar por su entusiasmo y hacer que ella se aburriese con tanto detalle y lo considerara un pesado. Se calló de repente y la observó fijamente. Ella se sorprendió del parón brusco y enarcó las cejas interrogativamente.
–¿Por qué te has parado?
–No quiero aburrirte con mis tonterías.
–¿Tonterías? ¡Pero si me encanta! ¡Nunca he encontrado a nadie que le apasionen estos temas como a ti!
–Tal vez es que no son realmente interesantes.
–Puede que a otros no les interese, pero a mí me gustaría seguir oyéndote hablar sobre ello. Se nota que es un tema que dominas.
–¡Qué más quisiera! –se lamentó Kare–. Solo soy un pobre aficionado con gustos raros.
–¡Ni hablar! ¡Venga! Dime dónde aprendiste todo esto.
–Bueno, no hay muchos sitios donde puedas tener buena información. Sí, por un lado están los físicos teóricos. Pero son demasiado académicos y acaban metiéndose a sí mismos en callejones sin salida. Además, hay algunas cuestiones que no están muy bien vistas en la comunidad científica y, los que estudian algo el tema, son reacios a publicar sus hallazgos, por miedo al rechazo de los demás.
Kare se detuvo, dudando si debía seguir, pero ella se dio cuenta enseguida.
–Sí, por un lado están ellos… Pero, ¿por otro?
Era muy sorprendente, pensó él, lo rápida que era Kanja en detectar los matices de lo que él tenía en mente. ¿Acaso era tan transparente en sus pausas, o en la forma de hablar? Decidió continuar.
–Bueno, también existió un grupo de aficionados a estos temas, como yo, que hicieron un foro en internet hace tiempo, donde se habló extensamente sobre el tema y se desarrollaron algunas teorías serias, e incluso se elaboraron ciertas herramientas matemáticas bastante complejas con las que se podía llegar a resultados muy interesantes.
–Me estás hablando en pasado. ¿Ya no existe ese grupo?
–No lo sé realmente. Hubo un incidente extraño, se cerró el foro y perdí el contacto. No sé si, de alguna manera, el resto siguió adelante o no. Yo, desde luego, perdí la pista.
–¿Qué incidente fue ése?
–Fue algo extraño… –Kare intentó ordenar sus ideas–. Lashkii, el tipo que más lejos había llegado en el desarrollo matemático del tema, empezó a comportarse de manera extraña. Desaparecía sin avisar durante largas temporadas y luego empezó a intentar deshacer todo el trabajo que tanto esfuerzo le había costado. No sé, pero me da la impresión de que algo, o alguien, hizo que entrase en un estado paranoico y quiso que los demás también nos olvidáramos para siempre del asunto.
–¿Qué pudo llevarlo a esa situación?
–Lo ignoro. Lo que sí sé es que un día desapareció para siempre y el resto también abandonaron poco a poco, hasta que, sin previo aviso, el foro fue clausurado y a los que teníamos acceso se nos impidió entrar más.
–¿Seguiste en contacto con alguien después?
–No –Kare hizo una pausa. No sabía si debía seguir.
–Perooo… –Kanja no parecía estar convencida.
–¡Pero nada! No supe nada, ni de nadie más –mintió.
–No acabo de creérmelo.
–Piensa lo que quieras. Las cosas son como son. Además –intentó salir del tema–, ya es muy tarde y tengo que volver a casa…
–Si, perdona. No quiero que te molestes si no quieres hablar más. Es solo que me parece tan interesante, que quería conocer los detalles.
–¡Qué rarita eres! –dijo Kare sonriendo.
Cuando llegó a casa y pudo reflexionar a solas sobre todo lo que había pasado en aquel extraño y maravilloso día, Kare sintió que la cabeza le daba vueltas. Eran muchas cosas las que debía asimilar, como que, habiendo salido de una situación personal tan desagradable como había sido su divorcio, hubiese encontrado una mujer extraordinaria en todos los sentidos que pudiera conectar con él. Era hermosa, muy hermosa, pero no por ello tenía los defectos que solían tener algunas de esas personas que, sabiéndose atractivas, se comportaban de manera superficial, o despreciaban a la gente que no reunía unas características también extraordinarias. Era inteligente, amable, simpática y se interesaba por las rarezas que él mostraba, cosa que nunca antes había experimentado. Sin ir más lejos, a Neila, su exmujer no le gustaban para nada sus aficiones, considerándolas “superfrikadas”, y ridiculizándolo incluso en público. Kanja era en cambio, no podía definirla de otra manera, simplemente perfecta… Demasiado perfecta para ser real. Kare tuvo un momentáneo sentimiento de vértigo. Algo no le terminaba de cuadrar. Esas cosas no sucedían en la vida real, por lo menos a un tipo como él. Sacudió la cabeza para espantar esas sensaciones; no tenía que ser tan suspicaz. Para una puñetera vez que se había topado con algo perfecto, no podía rechazarlo por ser demasiado bueno. Sería de una estupidez tan extrema, que ni siquiera él podría permitírselo. Pero tampoco tenía que entusiasmarse tan pronto. Solo la conocía de un día; no sabía si podía haber alguna cosa en la que no fuera tan maravillosa, o que realmente ella no sintiera por él nada más que mera curiosidad.
Espoleado por el interés que había mostrado Kanja por el viaje en el tiempo, buscó aquellos viejos cálculos y la correspondencia que había mantenido con aquel grupo de chalados interesados por un tema tan fuera de lo común. Hacía meses que no los echaba un vistazo. La verdad es que no había estado de humor para aficiones, hasta cierto punto, infantiles. Revisó por encima las matemáticas que habían ido desarrollando, especialmente Lashkii, y se notó algo oxidado. Hacía tanto que no sometía a sus capacidades matemáticas a tanto esfuerzo, que llegó incluso a parecerle imposible que alguna vez hubiese sido capaz de entender algo. Recordaba que, al principio, cuando se enviaron de manera privada las primeras ecuaciones de lo que se llamaron los tensores de Lashkii, no supo por dónde cogerlas. Luego, tras muchas consultas a libros de matemáticas avanzadas y documentación que se fueron pasando dentro del grupo, fue poco a poco haciéndose con conocimientos, básicos al principio, y luego, tras mucho esfuerzo, llegó a entender bastante del tema, llegando incluso a hacer modestas aportaciones al desarrollo de la teoría, sobre todo en lo que tocaba a la relación entre las matemáticas puras, tan áridas, y la física que se relacionaba con ellas. Sonrió revisando aquellos puntos en los que, en momentos ocasionales, se habían encontrado en aparentes callejones sin salida y al final habían conseguido salir gracias a las aportaciones de diferentes ideas geniales de alguno de los miembros del foro. Pero se puso más serio al recordar que, por sugerencia del propio Lashkii, los tensores básicos no se debían publicar dentro del foro, sino que se enviaban a los miembros del grupo a través de correos cifrados para que nadie externo al grupo pudiera tener acceso a ellos. Kare nunca lo entendió, pero siempre cumplió con toda la seguridad que le pidieron, por respeto a sus compañeros de fatigas. No lo entendió, hasta que ocurrió lo que ocurrió.
Espoleado por el interés que había mostrado Kanja por el viaje en el tiempo, buscó aquellos viejos cálculos y la correspondencia que había mantenido con aquel grupo de chalados interesados por un tema tan fuera de lo común. Hacía meses que no los echaba un vistazo. La verdad es que no había estado de humor para aficiones, hasta cierto punto, infantiles. Revisó por encima las matemáticas que habían ido desarrollando, especialmente Lashkii, y se notó algo oxidado. Hacía tanto que no sometía a sus capacidades matemáticas a tanto esfuerzo, que llegó incluso a parecerle imposible que alguna vez hubiese sido capaz de entender algo. Recordaba que, al principio, cuando se enviaron de manera privada las primeras ecuaciones de lo que se llamaron los tensores de Lashkii, no supo por dónde cogerlas. Luego, tras muchas consultas a libros de matemáticas avanzadas y documentación que se fueron pasando dentro del grupo, fue poco a poco haciéndose con conocimientos, básicos al principio, y luego, tras mucho esfuerzo, llegó a entender bastante del tema, llegando incluso a hacer modestas aportaciones al desarrollo de la teoría, sobre todo en lo que tocaba a la relación entre las matemáticas puras, tan áridas, y la física que se relacionaba con ellas. Sonrió revisando aquellos puntos en los que, en momentos ocasionales, se habían encontrado en aparentes callejones sin salida y al final habían conseguido salir gracias a las aportaciones de diferentes ideas geniales de alguno de los miembros del foro. Pero se puso más serio al recordar que, por sugerencia del propio Lashkii, los tensores básicos no se debían publicar dentro del foro, sino que se enviaban a los miembros del grupo a través de correos cifrados para que nadie externo al grupo pudiera tener acceso a ellos. Kare nunca lo entendió, pero siempre cumplió con toda la seguridad que le pidieron, por respeto a sus compañeros de fatigas. No lo entendió, hasta que ocurrió lo que ocurrió.
Kare woke up very agitated when it was still very dark. His heart was beating like mad and he was sweating. He must have had a very intense nightmare, but he did not remember anything. He struggled to try to remember, but could not recall any images, just some feelings in a vague and confusing way. At first he did not want to look at what time it was, trying not move too much, and see if he was able to fall asleep again, but he was too excited and failed in the attempt. He got up and went to the bathroom to see if, by washing his face to cool off and remove the sweat, he could relax. However, he could not fall back asleep. It was annoying to be so upset but not knowing the details of the dream that had caused him such agitation. After a long time he gave up and tried to analyze what feelings were behind the nightmare. He recalled mixed feelings of being subjected to pressures that were almost impossible to avoid, rejection of forces that obliged him to do something he did not want and the unpleasant consequences that could arise from his actions if he gave in to those pressures. However, not everything he felt was negative. He also knew that, mixed with a dark whirlwind, there was something beautiful that, at that moment, inspired a feeling of... infatuation.
Love? He wondered puzzled. After the bitter experience he had suffered with his recent divorce, it seemed very strange that the subconscious suggested anything related to falling in love again. But he told himself that the subconscious was very difficult to control and that probably that dream, and in particular that feeling, did not have to have any kind of logic.
Thinking that he would not go back to sleep, he turned off the alarm clock, the sound of which unnerved him every morning, so that he could avoid discomfort when it was time to get up. And the inevitable happened in these cases: he fell asleep and did not wake up in time. When he did, he was startled, realizing he would be late for work. He had to wash himself in a hurry and left without stopping to have breakfast at home, as was his custom. He was almost an hour late, which would make him have to stay later to make up for lost time, which irritated him a lot because in recent times, since his divorce, he had settled into a routine that bothered him to alter. When he arrived at the company, he saw that in the corridor there was a huddle of colleagues who were whispering with nervous giggles. He did not give it too much importance and sat at his desk.
A few minutes later Tarlo, his officemate, approached.
Love? He wondered puzzled. After the bitter experience he had suffered with his recent divorce, it seemed very strange that the subconscious suggested anything related to falling in love again. But he told himself that the subconscious was very difficult to control and that probably that dream, and in particular that feeling, did not have to have any kind of logic.
Thinking that he would not go back to sleep, he turned off the alarm clock, the sound of which unnerved him every morning, so that he could avoid discomfort when it was time to get up. And the inevitable happened in these cases: he fell asleep and did not wake up in time. When he did, he was startled, realizing he would be late for work. He had to wash himself in a hurry and left without stopping to have breakfast at home, as was his custom. He was almost an hour late, which would make him have to stay later to make up for lost time, which irritated him a lot because in recent times, since his divorce, he had settled into a routine that bothered him to alter. When he arrived at the company, he saw that in the corridor there was a huddle of colleagues who were whispering with nervous giggles. He did not give it too much importance and sat at his desk.
A few minutes later Tarlo, his officemate, approached.
“Have you overslept?” Said with a mocked stern gesture. “This will have to be recovered, or it will be deducted from your salary...”
“You imitate Hoka very badly” Kare replied. “Besides, I'm sure he hasn't even arrived yet and, when he finds out, I'll have recovered my time.”
“You're wrong, he's out there. Today he has come soon; I'm sure he knew something...”
“Something about what?”
“I see you haven't heard about the last one.”
“You got me on edge.” Kare said wryly.
“The new hiring of the research department. You have to see her.”, Tarlo sighed.
“What is so special about her?”
“A cutie. I never saw anything like her. She's got all the guys drooling.”
“I understand, that's why it was the conclave you had before?”
“Indeed! But not only does she look like a pretty face and a hot body, she also has a character... More than one has already been put in place.”
“It is precisely what suits some who are out there.”
“You imitate Hoka very badly” Kare replied. “Besides, I'm sure he hasn't even arrived yet and, when he finds out, I'll have recovered my time.”
“You're wrong, he's out there. Today he has come soon; I'm sure he knew something...”
“Something about what?”
“I see you haven't heard about the last one.”
“You got me on edge.” Kare said wryly.
“The new hiring of the research department. You have to see her.”, Tarlo sighed.
“What is so special about her?”
“A cutie. I never saw anything like her. She's got all the guys drooling.”
“I understand, that's why it was the conclave you had before?”
“Indeed! But not only does she look like a pretty face and a hot body, she also has a character... More than one has already been put in place.”
“It is precisely what suits some who are out there.”
Kare continued with his work thinking that the new colleague would not be so big deal. Tarlo's tendency to exaggerate was well known. In addition, in his current situation, he was not too interested in affairs with women and less with coworkers.
After a while he had almost forgotten about it, concentrating on the project he was working on. In those moments he used to become isolated from the world in such a way that he did not realize what was around him; so much so that many times they had to get him out of self-absorption in quite forceful ways.
Some time later, he was forced to return to the real world when he heard the voice of Hoka Kuher, his boss, directly rebuking him.
“Look at him, in his world, as always... By the way, have you overslept? This will have to be recovered, or it will be deducted from your salary...”
At the next desk, Tarlo almost choked on the glass of water he was drinking. Kare looked up at his boss and someone else accompanying him, but could not reply. He was absolutely dumbfounded by the presence of a woman of a beauty like he had never seen before. For once Tarlo had not exaggerated at all.
“I introduce you to Kanja Alfke, a new colleague in our section. I'm showing her all this. Kanja, I introduce you to these two calamities: there, Tarlo Lodke, the schemer, and this is Kare Osjin, the self-absorbed.”
“Pleased to meet you.” Kanja said, looking first at Tarlo and then, stopping her gaze on Kare, offered him a smile that took his breath away. The beauty of her gaze left him petrified.
“The pleasure is all ours.” replied Tarlo. “Right, Kare?” he added, seeing that Kare did not react.
“Pleased to meet you.” Kanja said, looking first at Tarlo and then, stopping her gaze on Kare, offered him a smile that took his breath away. The beauty of her gaze left him petrified.
“The pleasure is all ours.” replied Tarlo. “Right, Kare?” he added, seeing that Kare did not react.
But Kare was still unable to say anything.
“Right?” Tarlo repeated.
“Yeah, uh, sure.” Kare babbled at last.
“Leave them. These two have no remedy.” said the boss. “Now I'll show you the rest of the department.”
“Leave them. These two have no remedy.” said the boss. “Now I'll show you the rest of the department.”
They left the room and, before crossing the door, Kanja managed to turn to look at Kare even though the boss had given way to her as they passed through the door, and gave him the same paralyzing smile again.
“Pheeew!” Tarlo said when they could no longer be heard. “What a glances she has given you, buddy. I’d say you have her wrapped around your finger. What a lucky devil!”
Kare was still mesmerized. He was not able to get out of the spell. He kept seeing her even though she was no longer there.
“What's wrong with you?” Tarlo continued. “You have been as a fool! If one of those smiles had been thrown at me, I would have done anything but keep quiet.”
“You can't keep quiet even if your life depends on it.” Kare grumbled.
“Yes, yes, but what do you say? Was she, or wasn't she a babe?”
“Well, not bad. Nor it’s big deal.” Kare lied.
“Ha ha ha! The one who has been speechless says it!: 'Yeah, uh, sure'” he said, mocking Kare.
“Leave me alone, I'm not in the mood for your bullshit!”
“Come on, dude! You have to rebuild your life. You have to get over the divorce once and for all. And an opportunity like this is not going to happen to you again in your fucking life.”
“There’s no such opportunity. She was just nice and she smiled at us both, as new colleagues. Don't start imagining things where there aren't.”
“Guy! If you let this escape you, I will never speak to you again.”
“You promise?” Kare replied sarcastically.
“You can't keep quiet even if your life depends on it.” Kare grumbled.
“Yes, yes, but what do you say? Was she, or wasn't she a babe?”
“Well, not bad. Nor it’s big deal.” Kare lied.
“Ha ha ha! The one who has been speechless says it!: 'Yeah, uh, sure'” he said, mocking Kare.
“Leave me alone, I'm not in the mood for your bullshit!”
“Come on, dude! You have to rebuild your life. You have to get over the divorce once and for all. And an opportunity like this is not going to happen to you again in your fucking life.”
“There’s no such opportunity. She was just nice and she smiled at us both, as new colleagues. Don't start imagining things where there aren't.”
“Guy! If you let this escape you, I will never speak to you again.”
“You promise?” Kare replied sarcastically.
In the following hours Kare was unable to concentrate. He could not stop thinking about Kanja. How could it have affected him so much? He believed that at that moment he could not get carried away so easily by a physical feeling, when it had only been since the divorce ... How long? Six months already? It was not possible! Anyway, he did not think he had to get carried away by such a thing without even knowing her. Besides ... a woman of that beauty had to necessarily be with someone or, if not, she could choose anyone more attractive than him. He was sure that admirers would not be lacking.
When it was time for a break, Tarlo told him:
“I know you never go out for breakfast, but just in case, for a change...”
“Huh, no.” Kare said without thinking, but then he reconsidered “Wait, yeah, I'm going with you.”
“What a surprise! Is something wrong with you?” and he added tongue-in-cheek “Today I see you changed, different... why is it?”
“It's okay, asshole! It's that this morning I haven’t had time to have breakfast at home. But if it bothers you, you know ...”
“Nah! I'm glad you're coming; it's just that I'm not used to you listening to me. Besides, today I had no one to go with. The rest of the guys stood me up.”
“Glad to hear it. The fewer buffoons the better. Let’s go!”
“Huh, no.” Kare said without thinking, but then he reconsidered “Wait, yeah, I'm going with you.”
“What a surprise! Is something wrong with you?” and he added tongue-in-cheek “Today I see you changed, different... why is it?”
“It's okay, asshole! It's that this morning I haven’t had time to have breakfast at home. But if it bothers you, you know ...”
“Nah! I'm glad you're coming; it's just that I'm not used to you listening to me. Besides, today I had no one to go with. The rest of the guys stood me up.”
“Glad to hear it. The fewer buffoons the better. Let’s go!”
As they got close to the exit, they came face to face with Kanja. She approached them and asked:
“Are you going out? Can I join you, please? It's just that I don't know anywhere around here and, besides, now that I've finally managed to give Hoka the slip and I can get rid of him for a while… I was worried I was going to have to go out with him.”
Immediately Tarlo took the floor:
“We are delighted that you are coming with us!” and, looking at Kare's stunned face, “At least me, because this one is scatterbrained today.”
“Yeah, uh, sure…” Kare babbled.
“Yeah, uh, sure…” Kare babbled.
Kanja could not suppress a laugh.
“If you wait for me, I'm with you in a minute.”
Tarlo stared seriously at Kare and shook his head:
“What?” Kare said.
“Yeah, uh, sure…”he scoffed. “Do you think you'll go very far behaving that way? That beauty is going to believe that you are a dumbass. Of course, even in your best moments you're not very savvy.”
“Will you please leave me alone?”
“No, I don't want to! Actually, I don't care what she thinks of you. Maybe that way, by contrast, she looks more at me.”
“Shut up, here she comes.”
“Yeah, uh, sure…”he scoffed. “Do you think you'll go very far behaving that way? That beauty is going to believe that you are a dumbass. Of course, even in your best moments you're not very savvy.”
“Will you please leave me alone?”
“No, I don't want to! Actually, I don't care what she thinks of you. Maybe that way, by contrast, she looks more at me.”
“Shut up, here she comes.”
During the break, they talked a bit about where each one came from. It looked more like an interrogation from Tarlo to Kanja, but she seemed amused with the situation. Kare just listened dumbfounded and almost without participating. But, when they had been in this type of talk for a while, the conversation led to the hobbies of each one and there Tarlo could not help but realize that Kare was still in a cloud.
“Don't let this geek tell you about his hobbies,” he said to Kanja with a hint of malice, “if you give him a chance, he can make your head explode.”
“What kind of geek are you, Kare?” She inquired, looking directly at him. “What kind of power do you have to go around blowing up heads?”
“What kind of geek are you, Kare?” She inquired, looking directly at him. “What kind of power do you have to go around blowing up heads?”
But, before he had time to answer, Tarlo said:
“Perfect, I tell her not to venture into the lion's den and she goes headfirst...”
“Shut your trap!” Kare said a little annoyed. “Kanja, don't listen to this prick.”
“No, no, really.” Kanja replied. “I would like to know what's true of what Tarlo says. I confess that I'm also quite a geek and I'd like to know if we share the same type of interests...”
“Nothing serious really.” Kare replied on the defensive. “Don´t think that I'm going around disguising myself as an alien, or as a commander of the Space Forces, or something like that. It's just that I like science fiction and studying real science that can make viable, or not, the ideas found in some stories.”
“Amazing!” said Kanja with her eyes wide open.
“I can't believe it,” Tarlo muttered. “I not only have to put up with one geek, but two...”
“Stop complaining and let's get back to work, it's about time!” Kare said grumpily. “I don't feel like staying longer than I have to make up for today.”
“Shut your trap!” Kare said a little annoyed. “Kanja, don't listen to this prick.”
“No, no, really.” Kanja replied. “I would like to know what's true of what Tarlo says. I confess that I'm also quite a geek and I'd like to know if we share the same type of interests...”
“Nothing serious really.” Kare replied on the defensive. “Don´t think that I'm going around disguising myself as an alien, or as a commander of the Space Forces, or something like that. It's just that I like science fiction and studying real science that can make viable, or not, the ideas found in some stories.”
“Amazing!” said Kanja with her eyes wide open.
“I can't believe it,” Tarlo muttered. “I not only have to put up with one geek, but two...”
“Stop complaining and let's get back to work, it's about time!” Kare said grumpily. “I don't feel like staying longer than I have to make up for today.”
Kare felt somewhat more relaxed and managed to regain the usual attention he used to focus on his work. He wondered if he could meet Kanja again at lunchtime, and told himself that in that case, he had to try to be a little savvier, even if it bothered him to have to admit that Tarlo was right. But, once again, things did not go as he expected. When they were going out for lunch, they saw that Hoka had learned and managed to keep Kanja and they would not be able to have lunch with her. Somehow, Kare felt a bit disappointed and during the meal he was somewhat deflated, although it was not too noticeable because, as usual, Tarlo monopolized most of the conversation, including the expected hints that he dropped on him on several occasions.
“Have you noticed her hair?” Asked Tarlo in one of his quasi-monologues. “Red like fire. Impressive! Do you think that color is natural, or dyed?”
“I'd bet it's dyed.” replied Kare, who was a bit more upbeat at the time.
“Well, look, I think it's natural, and I accept your stake. Do we bet twenty?”
“It was just a way of speaking. It would be piece of cake winning, but I'm not betting. It would be an abuse on my part, like taking candy from a baby. And besides, you know that I'm against gambling. “
“Yay! You always say that because you're afraid of losing. And now, you're sure to lose.”
“I don't think so. Natural redheads are usually very freckled, and Kanja has no freckles. And besides, how can we know if it's natural or dyed? If you ask her, she probably won't tell you the truth.”
“My friend, there is a fairly reliable way. If the floor below has it the same color, it is natural, if not, dyed...”
“Or she is very careful and also dyes it.”
“Naaah! They don't matter so much about it. Once they show it to you, they don't care if you know it isn't natural; they already got you.”
“You’re hopeless.” Kare said laughing.
“Another one who drives me crazy is Verke.” Tarlo continued.
“What Verke?”
“Are you kidding me? Verke Melin, the blonde from human resources, Silma Tend's assistant. Don't tell me you haven't noticed her infinite legs.”
“Oh yeah! Well, not too bad...”
“You must be joking! If I wasn't married with two children, I would eat her...”
“That one! I'm sure she's dyed.” Kare assured.
“No way! I bet you fifty that she isn’t! What's more, I'll bet you fifty on Kanja's red and another fifty on Verke's blonde. And this time you're not going to sneak away. Put the money right now.”
“I'd bet it's dyed.” replied Kare, who was a bit more upbeat at the time.
“Well, look, I think it's natural, and I accept your stake. Do we bet twenty?”
“It was just a way of speaking. It would be piece of cake winning, but I'm not betting. It would be an abuse on my part, like taking candy from a baby. And besides, you know that I'm against gambling. “
“Yay! You always say that because you're afraid of losing. And now, you're sure to lose.”
“I don't think so. Natural redheads are usually very freckled, and Kanja has no freckles. And besides, how can we know if it's natural or dyed? If you ask her, she probably won't tell you the truth.”
“My friend, there is a fairly reliable way. If the floor below has it the same color, it is natural, if not, dyed...”
“Or she is very careful and also dyes it.”
“Naaah! They don't matter so much about it. Once they show it to you, they don't care if you know it isn't natural; they already got you.”
“You’re hopeless.” Kare said laughing.
“Another one who drives me crazy is Verke.” Tarlo continued.
“What Verke?”
“Are you kidding me? Verke Melin, the blonde from human resources, Silma Tend's assistant. Don't tell me you haven't noticed her infinite legs.”
“Oh yeah! Well, not too bad...”
“You must be joking! If I wasn't married with two children, I would eat her...”
“That one! I'm sure she's dyed.” Kare assured.
“No way! I bet you fifty that she isn’t! What's more, I'll bet you fifty on Kanja's red and another fifty on Verke's blonde. And this time you're not going to sneak away. Put the money right now.”
Kare shook his head, but realized that Tarlo would not stop, so he took out the money and put it on the table.
“Okay, you asked for it. A hundred that you are going to lose. You’re so gullible! Believing that all hot girls have natural hair color...”
“No, not all of them. But these two, yes.”
Back at work, Kare locked himself in by concentrating on work more intensively than usual, which was difficult to achieve. He did not even realize the moment when Tarlo was leaving and, in fact, he did two hours more than he had to make up. When he finally came out of his self-absorption, he was a little annoyed that he had lost control of time and headed for the exit, assuming there would be no one left in the office. But he was wrong again. As he passed in front of the door where Kanja worked, he saw that the lights were still on. He glanced as he passed, surprised to see her picking up as well to go out.
“No, not all of them. But these two, yes.”
Back at work, Kare locked himself in by concentrating on work more intensively than usual, which was difficult to achieve. He did not even realize the moment when Tarlo was leaving and, in fact, he did two hours more than he had to make up. When he finally came out of his self-absorption, he was a little annoyed that he had lost control of time and headed for the exit, assuming there would be no one left in the office. But he was wrong again. As he passed in front of the door where Kanja worked, he saw that the lights were still on. He glanced as he passed, surprised to see her picking up as well to go out.
“Still here?” Kare asked. “Your first day here and you're going out so late? Won't you be a workaholic?” he joked, although he almost regretted the comment, because he still did not have that much confidence and did not know how she would take it.
“I wanted to find out as quickly as possible what I have to do and I wanted to get everything well organized to start giving a good performance soon.”
“Take it easy.” Kare suggested. “It would be a bad deal if you push it too much and pay for the effort. In addition, as they get used to a high performance from the beginning, then they will always demand it.”
“Don't worry, it's just that I wanted to catch up soon. I promise you I'm not going to turn into a zombie.” she said, smiling. “By the way, what about you? Let's see if you're going to reproach me for leaving late and you go out at the same time.”
“I had to make up time because this morning I was late and also I lost my train of thought.”
“From how little I know you, your train must be very fast, because you miss it very often, right?”
“Well, maybe, a little bit.” Kare blushed.
“Are you in a hurry? Or can you come with me somewhere and have a chat?”
“Take it easy.” Kare suggested. “It would be a bad deal if you push it too much and pay for the effort. In addition, as they get used to a high performance from the beginning, then they will always demand it.”
“Don't worry, it's just that I wanted to catch up soon. I promise you I'm not going to turn into a zombie.” she said, smiling. “By the way, what about you? Let's see if you're going to reproach me for leaving late and you go out at the same time.”
“I had to make up time because this morning I was late and also I lost my train of thought.”
“From how little I know you, your train must be very fast, because you miss it very often, right?”
“Well, maybe, a little bit.” Kare blushed.
“Are you in a hurry? Or can you come with me somewhere and have a chat?”
Kare was puzzled.
“Errr, I...”
“Well, if you don't feel like it, it doesn't matter.” Kanja smiled.
“No, no, no!” He rectified in time. “I'll be happy to spend some time with you.”
“So let's go!” She said, holding on to his arm.
Kare was feeling as if he were floating on air. He could not believe what was happening to him and he feared it was just a dream and that he might wake up at any moment. But no, he was aware that everything was real. Although he reflected that when someone is dreaming, it is also believed that what happens is real. 'Never mind,' he told himself 'try to enjoy it as long as possible, and then we'll see.'
They went to a coffee shop near work and chatted for quite a while. Kare found it wonderful; he was so comfortable with her, and she also seemed to be at ease with him. But he, perhaps, had hoped that the conversation had consisted of an exchange of information about the lives of each of them, to get to know each other better. However, she immediately led him to his fondness for science fiction and, very particularly, to the possibility of time travel. Kare was surprised that she brought up that particular issue, because it was precisely the subject he had spent the most time on within his hobby. Perhaps because of this, he began little by little to encourage until, suddenly, he was afraid to do what Tarlo had said in the morning: to let himself be carried away by his enthusiasm and to make her bored with so much detail and consider him tiresome. He fell silent suddenly and stared at her. She was surprised at the abrupt halt and raised her eyebrows questioningly.
“Well, if you don't feel like it, it doesn't matter.” Kanja smiled.
“No, no, no!” He rectified in time. “I'll be happy to spend some time with you.”
“So let's go!” She said, holding on to his arm.
Kare was feeling as if he were floating on air. He could not believe what was happening to him and he feared it was just a dream and that he might wake up at any moment. But no, he was aware that everything was real. Although he reflected that when someone is dreaming, it is also believed that what happens is real. 'Never mind,' he told himself 'try to enjoy it as long as possible, and then we'll see.'
They went to a coffee shop near work and chatted for quite a while. Kare found it wonderful; he was so comfortable with her, and she also seemed to be at ease with him. But he, perhaps, had hoped that the conversation had consisted of an exchange of information about the lives of each of them, to get to know each other better. However, she immediately led him to his fondness for science fiction and, very particularly, to the possibility of time travel. Kare was surprised that she brought up that particular issue, because it was precisely the subject he had spent the most time on within his hobby. Perhaps because of this, he began little by little to encourage until, suddenly, he was afraid to do what Tarlo had said in the morning: to let himself be carried away by his enthusiasm and to make her bored with so much detail and consider him tiresome. He fell silent suddenly and stared at her. She was surprised at the abrupt halt and raised her eyebrows questioningly.
“Why have you stopped?”
“I don't want to bore you with my silly stuff.”
“Silly stuff? I do love it! I've never found anyone who is as passionate about these topics as you are! “
“Maybe they aren't really interesting.”
“Others may not be interested, but I'd like to continue hearing you talk about it. It can be told it's a subject you master.”
“If only!” Kare regreted. “I'm just a poor amateur with weird tastes.”
“No way! Come on! Tell me where you learned all this.”
“Well, there aren't many places where you can get good information. Yes, on the one hand are the theoretical physicists, but they are too academic and usually end up in a stalemate. In addition, there are some issues that are viewed with disfavor in the scientific community and, those who study the subject somewhat, are reluctant to publish their findings, for fear of rejection by others.”
“I don't want to bore you with my silly stuff.”
“Silly stuff? I do love it! I've never found anyone who is as passionate about these topics as you are! “
“Maybe they aren't really interesting.”
“Others may not be interested, but I'd like to continue hearing you talk about it. It can be told it's a subject you master.”
“If only!” Kare regreted. “I'm just a poor amateur with weird tastes.”
“No way! Come on! Tell me where you learned all this.”
“Well, there aren't many places where you can get good information. Yes, on the one hand are the theoretical physicists, but they are too academic and usually end up in a stalemate. In addition, there are some issues that are viewed with disfavor in the scientific community and, those who study the subject somewhat, are reluctant to publish their findings, for fear of rejection by others.”
Kare paused, wondering if he should go on, but she noticed it right away.
“Yes, on the one hand they are… But, on the other?”
It was very surprising, he thought, how quick Kanja was to detect the nuances of what he had in mind. Was he so transparent in his pauses, or in the way he spoke? He decided to continue.
“Well, there was also a group of enthusiasts of these topics, like me, who took part in a forum on the Internet a long time ago, where they talked extensively about the subject and developed some serious theories, and even developed certain quite complex mathematical tools with which you could reach very interesting results.”
“You're speaking in the past tense. Doesn't that group exist anymore?”
“I really don’t know. There was a strange incident, the forum was closed and I lost touch. I don't know if, somehow, the rest went ahead or not. I, of course, lost track.”
“What incident was that?”
“It was kind of strange…” Kare tried to collect his thoughts. “Lashkii, the guy who had gone the furthest in the mathematical development of the subject, began to behave strangely. He disappeared without warning for long periods and after, he began to try to undo all the work that had cost him so much effort. I don't know, but I get the impression that something, or someone, made him go into a paranoid state and wanted the rest of us to forget about it forever as well.”
“What could have led him to that situation?”
“I don't know. What I do know is that one day he disappeared forever and the rest also left little by little, until, without prior notice, the forum was closed and those of us who had access weren't allowed to enter anymore.”
“Did you keep in touch with anyone afterwards?”
“No.” Kare paused. He did not know if he should continue.
“But...” Kanja did not seem convinced.
“But nothing! I didn't hear from anyone of them, or from anyone else.” he lied.
“I can't quite believe it.”
“Believe whatever you want. Things are as they are. Besides,” he tried to get off topic “it's too late and I have to go home...”
“Yeah, sorry. I don't want you to bother if you don't want to talk anymore. It's just that I find it so interesting, that I wanted to know the details.”
“How weird you are!” Kare said smiling.
“You're speaking in the past tense. Doesn't that group exist anymore?”
“I really don’t know. There was a strange incident, the forum was closed and I lost touch. I don't know if, somehow, the rest went ahead or not. I, of course, lost track.”
“What incident was that?”
“It was kind of strange…” Kare tried to collect his thoughts. “Lashkii, the guy who had gone the furthest in the mathematical development of the subject, began to behave strangely. He disappeared without warning for long periods and after, he began to try to undo all the work that had cost him so much effort. I don't know, but I get the impression that something, or someone, made him go into a paranoid state and wanted the rest of us to forget about it forever as well.”
“What could have led him to that situation?”
“I don't know. What I do know is that one day he disappeared forever and the rest also left little by little, until, without prior notice, the forum was closed and those of us who had access weren't allowed to enter anymore.”
“Did you keep in touch with anyone afterwards?”
“No.” Kare paused. He did not know if he should continue.
“But...” Kanja did not seem convinced.
“But nothing! I didn't hear from anyone of them, or from anyone else.” he lied.
“I can't quite believe it.”
“Believe whatever you want. Things are as they are. Besides,” he tried to get off topic “it's too late and I have to go home...”
“Yeah, sorry. I don't want you to bother if you don't want to talk anymore. It's just that I find it so interesting, that I wanted to know the details.”
“How weird you are!” Kare said smiling.
When he got home and was able to reflect alone on everything that had happened on that strange and wonderful day, Kare felt his head spin. There were many things that he had to assimilate, such as that, having to get over such an unpleasant personal situation as his divorce had been, he had found an extraordinary woman in every way that could connect with him. She was beautiful, very beautiful, but she did not have the defects that some of those people who, knowing themselves attractive, behaved superficially, or despised people who did not meet extraordinary characteristics.
She was smart, kind, amusing and interested in the oddities he had, a thing he had never experienced before. As a matter of fact, Neila, his ex-wife did not like his hobbies at all, considering them 'super-freaky', and ridiculing him even in public. Kanja was instead, he could not define her otherwise, just perfect… Too perfect to be real. Kare had a momentary dizzy feeling. Something was not quite right for him. Those things did not happen in real life, at least not to a guy like him. He shook his head to get rid of those sensations; he did not have to be so suspicious. For one bloody time he had stumbled upon something perfect, he could not turn him down for being too good. It would be such extreme stupidity, that even he could not afford it. But he didn't have to get excited so soon, either. He only knew her for a day; he did not know if there could be something she was not so wonderful about, or that she really felt nothing but mere curiosity about him.
Prodded by Kanja's interest in time travel, he sought out those old calculations and the correspondence he had maintained with that group of crazy people interested in such an unusual subject. He had not looked at them in months. To tell the truth he had not been in the mood for hobbies, to some extent, childish. He went over the math they had been developing, especially Lashkii, and he noticed himself somewhat rusty. It had been so long since he had put so much strain on his mathematical abilities that it even seemed impossible that he had ever been able to understand anything. He remembered that, at first, when the first equations of what were called the Lashkii tensors were sent privately, he did not know how to deal with them. Then, after many consultations to advanced mathematics books and documentation that were passed within the group, he gradually acquired knowledge, basic at first, and then, after much effort, he begun to understand a lot about the subject, even making modest contributions to the development of theory, especially topics regarding the relationship between pure mathematics, so complicated, and the physics related to them. He smiled, reviewing those points where, at occasional moments, they had found themselves in apparent dead ends and in the end they had managed to get out thanks to the contributions of different great ideas of some of the members of the forum. But he got more serious when he remembered that, at Lashkii's own suggestion, the basic tensors should not be posted within the forum, but were sent to group members via encrypted emails so that no one outside the group could access them. Kare never understood it, but he always fulfilled all the security they asked of him, out of respect for his fellow sufferers. He did not understand it, until what happened happened.
She was smart, kind, amusing and interested in the oddities he had, a thing he had never experienced before. As a matter of fact, Neila, his ex-wife did not like his hobbies at all, considering them 'super-freaky', and ridiculing him even in public. Kanja was instead, he could not define her otherwise, just perfect… Too perfect to be real. Kare had a momentary dizzy feeling. Something was not quite right for him. Those things did not happen in real life, at least not to a guy like him. He shook his head to get rid of those sensations; he did not have to be so suspicious. For one bloody time he had stumbled upon something perfect, he could not turn him down for being too good. It would be such extreme stupidity, that even he could not afford it. But he didn't have to get excited so soon, either. He only knew her for a day; he did not know if there could be something she was not so wonderful about, or that she really felt nothing but mere curiosity about him.
Prodded by Kanja's interest in time travel, he sought out those old calculations and the correspondence he had maintained with that group of crazy people interested in such an unusual subject. He had not looked at them in months. To tell the truth he had not been in the mood for hobbies, to some extent, childish. He went over the math they had been developing, especially Lashkii, and he noticed himself somewhat rusty. It had been so long since he had put so much strain on his mathematical abilities that it even seemed impossible that he had ever been able to understand anything. He remembered that, at first, when the first equations of what were called the Lashkii tensors were sent privately, he did not know how to deal with them. Then, after many consultations to advanced mathematics books and documentation that were passed within the group, he gradually acquired knowledge, basic at first, and then, after much effort, he begun to understand a lot about the subject, even making modest contributions to the development of theory, especially topics regarding the relationship between pure mathematics, so complicated, and the physics related to them. He smiled, reviewing those points where, at occasional moments, they had found themselves in apparent dead ends and in the end they had managed to get out thanks to the contributions of different great ideas of some of the members of the forum. But he got more serious when he remembered that, at Lashkii's own suggestion, the basic tensors should not be posted within the forum, but were sent to group members via encrypted emails so that no one outside the group could access them. Kare never understood it, but he always fulfilled all the security they asked of him, out of respect for his fellow sufferers. He did not understand it, until what happened happened.
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